Dancing Baby!

We had our 10-week ultrasound yesterday and it couldn't have gone any more perfect! (Note the time of this post- what's with 3AM being the "magical" time for me to wake up in the middle of the night?!) We went to the official ultrasound office, which was a first so we were hoping that we'd be able to take a video, but they wouldn't let us :(. Anyhow, the technician slowly counted and measured each part of the baby and then finally....we saw the heartbeat!!!

We had seen a heartbeat at 8 weeks with the Doppler in the office, but it was such a relief to see it again! Then, she said, "Okay, now we should be able to hear it." After a couple of mouse-clicks, there it was! 174 beats per minute, which even though seems really fast, is considered perfect! Then, the best part was that all of the sudden he started dancing- literally. I thought that the technician was moving the little wand around or something but she commented saying, 'I'm still- he's moving!" We were right were we should be - 9weeks and 6days. It was so cool :) At 20 weeks, we get a DVD of the ultrasound, so that will be super cool so we can share it with our family and friends.

Also, I told my work yesterday, which was a huge relief- they all suspected, so it wasn't like I was dropping a bombshell or anything. One girl has been working part-time from home since she had a baby, and, if we have to, I'm hoping to do the same. Who knows what the Lord has in store for Koa in the next few months for a job, so we'll just have to wait and see.

So, we are over-joyed! I was getting nervous and worrying because I felt like some of my symptoms were beginning to subside, which reminded me of when we miscarried, but I guess it's just a sign that I'm nearing the end of the first trimester. I still am super tired, feel nauseous but not throwing up, and have huge "ladies". I've gained about 8 pounds (yikes!), which I know is a bit more than what I should, but the only thing that's been comforting for the nausea has been junk food. Hopefully I can get back on track soon and start exercising too.

One thing at a time, right?!

Can't Sleep...Again!

I just looked at my last post and realized that it was about at the same time in the wee hours of the morning too! I just can't get back to sleep even though I'm really tired :( We have our 10-week ultra sound at 3:45 today and although I'm really excited I'm super nervous too. I'm trying not to be, but I have to admit that I'm afraid. Praying that everything is perfect! I think that Koa is going to take a video clip, so I will post this evening :)

Can't Sleep!

It's 4:30 am and I absolutely cannot get back to sleep! I wish that I didn't have to go to work in the morning-ugg! 7 days until our first official ultrasound for our 10 week visit- fingers crossed!

6 Weeks!

I haven't posted in awhile because I have been soooooooo tired! I'm feeling really sick today- I didn't go to work today and have spent the majority of the day on the couch. I don't have my first sonogram appointment until the 28th which is two weeks away :( We did switch doctor's though- I'm be going to a friend's doctor whom she had both of her children with. So the quick update is- super tired, girls growing (cool, but not really!!), eating like a whale, I feel like the size of a house and I think that my pooch has definitely looks like I'm pregnant (they say you can tell sooner after you've been pregnant before, apparently). Koa and I are going to LA for the day on Saturday for Sam and Rekha's wedding and we'll be spending the day in Santa Monica before the wedding, so I'm pretty excited. Anyhow, back to the couch for me before I have to go pick Koa up from work.

Lower than I thought?

Okay Emily, don't let the FEAR horn in...My HCG levels were at 1,374 on Wednesday when we had the appointment. Much lower than the last time that I had them done, but we were also a bit further along and it's my understanding that they double every 48 hours, so logically, that makes up for the difference I guess. I looked online too and it seems to be in line with where we are but when Tong told me he said that he thought that meant we were between 2-4 weeks. What?! Well based on my last period it should be 5. But, now that I think about it, they estimated lower last time too but then when we went to the doctor we were 6 weeks. I dunno. Anyhow, I"m make an appointment next week to see the OBGYN- we'll be trying a new doctor this based time based on a friend's recommendation.

I want to write more, but I am super tired! It's so hot here I didn't get much sleep last night and even though I tried to sleep in I couldn't :(

5 Weeks!

Koa and I went to Dr. Mark's yesterday to have the official test done and yup, we're pregnant! I had blood work done too to find out the HCG levels, so that gives a more accurate count of how far along we are, but I'm pretty sure that today is exactly 5 weeks.

It does feel a little different than last time- I don't want to say less excited, but kind of. I mean we've done all of these steps before so there is not that sense of newness that there was before. Plus, it's hard not to be fearful of the past, but I am trying SOOOO hard and by His grace I won't let the fear overtake me or get me down! RRRAAAHHH!

In terms of the symptoms...(for journalling purposes, of course!), I already have stretch marks on the ladies- seriously. Big ones. I don't recall getting them last time this soon, but I'm thinking that since I don't have much in that department anyway, that the slightest chance my body is going to notice. Wearing a bra is torture- if it was socially acceptable, I totally would go without. At least I have some larger sizes from pre-weight loss, so that's handy. Also, yay me, I'm totally moody. Crying and irrational one minute, sugar and roses the next. No sickness to speak of yet (I hopefully never!), I just get really dizzy if I overdue it- meaning no running up the stairs at work like I used to.

What else....ummm....no smoking, obviously. Last Thursday before I took the test I smoked my last cigarette...I'm not going to lie- kind of sad but I had cut back to only 3 a day so it hasn't been too hard, but I'm still kind of craving them. But, I know it's best so it's not even an issue, really. I feel like any symptoms that I am having are partly due to nicotine withdrawals, but I'm not sure. I've also cut out most caffeine- switched to decaf in the morning and trying to only have one iced tea in the afternoon- no soda or anything like that.

I've been eating like a mad woman and I've been trying to practice self control, but it's hard. I think that I've gained a pound or two- the scale has been playing games lately so it's hard to say. I'd guess I've gained about two in the last month, but even prior to getting pregnant I hasn't bee doing that well with diet or exercise. So let's say: pre-preggo-125, today- 127. Sigh. I guess that's not so bad, but I just need to watch it! Yikes adding 25-35 pounds to that is down right scary. I'd like to get a fitness DVD or something just to keep toned up. Koa and I had planned on walking every night, but we've been so busy....although perhaps I could get on the treadmill rather than messing around on the internet in the morning, ehh?

Anyhow, speaking of internet there are things to be looked at! I'll post the HCG levels when I get them- they are supposed to call me this afternoon. Also, I'll need to book my OBGYN appointment soon too. We're not going back to the same doctor as before- we thought that they were kind of insensitive about the whole miscarriage situation, so yeah, no. Same hospital though, just a different clinic. From what I've read, they typically don't see you until your 8 weeks, but we shall see.....

Pregnant!

A picture is worth a thousand words:

It's Wednesday!

Okay so technically it's day 29- I see no signs of anything yet. I've been having the same symptoms as before, mostly cramping and tiredness but no major changes. I've been having a few dizzy spells when I move around too fast and also have been crying on a dime, but at this point I'm chalking the crying up to typical period symptoms. Anyhow, I've decided to hold back until Saturday to take another test- that would make me a full 2-3 days late. So fingers crossed, I hope that this our month!

3 days to go... Part two

Hpph...So I took a test this afternoon- big, fat, negative. Hmm. Though I was thinking I guess that this Thursday would be the 30 day mark of my cycle, so maybe it was just too early? I'm bummed- I don't want to be disappointed! I guess that I'll hold out until Wednesday....

3 Days to go...

I have to control the urge not to test today. Although according to the back of the test box, I could technically get a positive result today if I am indeed pregnant, but I want to hold out until the percentages of accuracy are a little better. In terms of symptoms, I'm not feeling too much other than super tired. Yesterday I took two naps and slept from 10 to 6:30am today. We went to the strawberry festival yesterday, which was fun, but I ate waaaay too many goodies- I could not help myself! Corn on the cob, chicken teriyaki-bob-thingy, and chocolate dipped strawberries- YUM! When we were getting ready to leave to walk over (awesome- the park it was being held at is only a few minutes walk) I made the decision not to wear a bra because it was so uncomfortable! Not that I've got a lot upstairs that I really need to worry about it, but I still felt weird. Then, of course, the sun came out strong and I could no longer hide under the safety of my hoody :) Enough about boobs, eh? Maybe all of the junk food is what put me out? Koa did have a good point in reminding me that I haven't been exercising...AT ALL...so maybe my lack of energy is from that? I dunno. I would say that my ridiculous appetite lately could be a sign of preggo too, but I might just be heading down a slippery slope weight wise. If I'm not preggo, it's back on the treadmill with me- no excuses! If I am preggo though, Koa and I will re-launch our nightly walks like we did last year.

Anyhow, not too much planned for today- Koa is painting during worship at church this morning, so I'm really excited for him, even though I know that he's nervous. He'll do great, I'm sure of it. I will be bringing my camera along in my purse for a stealth photo waaa haaa ha. I'm betting we'll go to Olive Garden afterwards (it's our new tradition) but we did eat out for dinner last night (again with the junk food- pizza and sorbet for me), so maybe we'll head home after instead. I've been planning on making some sort of soup- (maybe taco soup?), need to finish up the laundry- have to fold three loads and wash at least three more (arrg), I NEED to weed the back and front yards (I'm so embarrassed!), and finally if there's time and if I'm not exhausted, I'd like to work on the afghan...I have about 2 feet of it complete- many more to go.

Sub-comment and final thought for today's post- when the baby time is finally here, I'd like to sew Hawaiian themed bedding and curtains...(or have Shelley and Mom help!!!) for the baby room. Cuteness and Koa-approved! Brown/Pink hibiscus for a little girl or "classic" hawaiian for a little boy. CUTE CUTE CUTE. With lots of accessories to match from Target. Hmmm....would I paint the room? I'm out of control...one thing at a time...starting with a positive result!

More soon!

5 days to go...

I feel kind of lame.

More of the same feelings, although I feel like the stretch marks that I got from my last short-lived pregnancy are starting to appear more prominently. I have nearly no boobage as it is, so I'm betting that the slightest anything would make them stretch. Just looks like silvery/blue lines all over the place. Either that or I'm crazy...I dunno.

I ate like a total Cartman yesterday- seriously, I was unstoppable...I'm embarrassed actually. I can't believe that I used to eat that way every day. Gross. However, I won't be surprised if today isn't more of the same as I have a lunch date with Rosemarie at Chipotle, then we're getting together with Nicole at Red Robin for "happy hour". Hopefully no one harasses me about drinking- I've got my "speech" all planned out. I don't know why everyone has be so in my business.

If I am pregnant, I won't be announcing it to my co-workers until I'm into my second trimester. Last time I jumped the gun and let the news fly at 6 weeks and then when I miscarried, it was a constant reminder for the next month or so of what had happened because everyone was curious and asking how I was doing. But, we'll be shouting it from the rooftops to our family and church friends! Koa and I are believing that we are going to go to full term and the Lord is going to give us a happy, perfect baby- boy or girl...we don't care.

I'm going to try to control myself to not take a test until Tuesday (which is when I'm expecting my period) but akkk....that's 5 days out. I don't want to see a negative result and be disappointed, and since it's really common to get a false negative, I'd rather wait it out.

So glad it's Friday!

6 days to go...

I figured that I'd better update the title of the blog as a countdown to my lady friend arriving for future reference later...Anyhow, the updates continue. More of the same symptoms as yesterday- tired even though I got a lot of sleep, woke up at 2am to use the restroom, and at 5:30, woke up again because I couldn't get back to sleep. I'm having the pressure from what feels like behind my boobs, but they don't feel hard like I remember...hopefully this isn't a bad sign although I still can't remember when that symptom kicked in. They just feel sensitive, but not over sore. At a certain point, I feel like I'm being ridiculous even "trying to figure things out" because I either am pregnant or I'm not. I just hate the waiting- I'm getting impatient! Technically, I could test on Monday with an early HPT, but I might wait until Wednesday when I expect my period just to be sure. A couple of times yesterday I had mild cramping, but again, it could just be PMS- it's hard to know which is which.

Waiting is hard...

Okay, thought I'd better post another update- again, just in case next month I'm wondering if these symptoms were all in my head or not. Yesterday, I was super tired all day, despite having gone to bed at 9pm. In the evening, I went to the grocery store then fixed dinner, but while I was finishing up, I was super cranky towards Koa and felt like everything was going wrong- no A1...oh wait, there is an entire fresh bottle in the fridge, steamed veggies were emitting steam all over the place, cheap cut o meat from QFC had too much fat on it, etc. , etc. Then, worst of all I was making arguments with Koa out of nothing. We started arguing about plane tickets to LAX for Sam and Rekha's wedding and I just was getting really frustrated for really no reason at all. Long story short, I upset Koa and ended up going to bed at 8pm last night. I pretty much slept the entire night except for waking up a couple of times- once to pee, once to have the covers being tugged away from me, then at 5am because Conan was getting impatient. I had a little bit of mild cramping yesterday, but nothing too bad...nothing like a few days ago- just a mild, dull feeling. My boobs don't exactly feel like they are getting larger, but again, there is a dull pain feeling behind both...feels kind of like someone is pushing from the inside out? Since I lost weight I pretty much have no boobage left, so it's hard to tell if there is any growth or not. Also, when I was sitting down yesterday, it was uncomfortable to have my pants buttoned. There is some upward movement on the scale too (yesterday it read 124.9) which is up a bit from about a week ago. Anyhow, I'm not due for my period until the 30th, so I've got a while to wait. Signing off for now...

It's like playing the lottery

Long time no post, yes, yes...(I'm not proofreading or worrying about grammar because I AM TIRED!)

Weight loss update- right on track! I'm down to about 121, depending on the day, which I'm pretty happy with. In an ideal world, I'd be 115, but I'm not nearly as obsessed as I once was. I finished the SGK 5K in 32 minutes and ran the whole thing so goals 1 and 2 check and check!

Anyhow, just a quick post to so that if I look back and wonder what I was feeling like I'll know. Without giving TMI, I feel like this is the first month in awhile that we've actually been "trying". So, I'm wondering if this month will be it! I got totally tricked last month because I was a few days late so I don't want to get my hopes up. Yesterday, I took a four hour nap in the afternoon despite getting about 10 hours of sleep the night before. We had a really packed weekend, so it just might be that I needed the extra sleep to "catch up". For the last couple of days I've had weird cramps- with some days being more painful that others, and some lasting longer than others. Sometimes it's all the way across and sometimes it's only on one side...in particular the right. I'm expected my period in about 9 days, so we shall see...I'm really hoping that "I've got the golden ticket" this month!

I'm super excited, but I just don't want to get my hopes up because I don't want to be disappointed once again. Just realized how much I miss this blogging action first thing in the morning...perhaps I need to get back into it again... I wish I could stay home from work today because I just want to sleep, but I have to volunteer at a golf tournament in the afternoon...I am getting paid though, so it's not too bad- just wish it was sunny!

Signing off for now...more updates to follow...

Meeeh...

Day 79, March 12, 2010
Weight: 131.2
Loss from Last week: .5 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 19.5 lbs

Lame-O weight loss this week, but I'm definitely going to blame it on having my period this week. Actually, on Saturday and Sunday I thought that I may have been pregnant since I was feeling soooooo tired and nauseous but, alas, my period arrived on Tuesday, it was just a bit late.
I wasn't perfect this week though by any means. I did decent on food most days,but yesterday I know I went waaaaay over my limit and ate a ridiculous amount of carbs which may have been part of the reason as well that the number on the scale was higher than what I've been used to seeing. I only did my exercise routine 3 days this week, but each day did 2 miles in about 26 minutes. I'm hoping to get down to at least a 10 minute mile before I do the 5k, so slow and steady.

Anyhow, kind of a bummer, but hopefully I'll be able to break into the 120's by next week.

Elated!

Day 72, March 5, 2010
Weight: 131.7
Loss from Last week: 3 lbs
Total Weight Lost: 19 lbs

I can't even believe it- it almost seems too good to be true like I'm going to get on the scale tomorrow and suddenly 5 mysterious pounds will appear. I think that they reason I'm as low this week as I am is because I've been faithful to my calories and have done my interval running training every day this week except yesterday. I've upped my mph to 5 for the running intervals which really gets me sweating. Also, on Tuesday night I ate a Cadbury Cream Egg (YUM!) and it really did a number on my stomach (TMI), so without being gross, I think my tank got emptied. I just can't handle too much sugar, fat, or milk. Milk especially...Yuck.

I'm almost back to where I was when I lost weight two years ago. I think my lowest ever was 125 so that's just around the corner. I still have some serious flab around my mind section and oddly enough, my knees. I have the weirdest fat pockets ever- I totally have cellulite on the inside of my knees and fat pockets on top of my kneecaps. I've never been able to get rid of it, so I'm hoping it will disappear or at least reduce a little soon. Still a little muffin-top too. I have a vision of being big and pregnant and wearing a bikini...odd, I know but, I think it's super cute. Call me weird. Whatever.

To reach my super ambitious goal of 115, I only have 16.7 to go. I'll be content once I get to 120, so any loss after that will just be a bonus as far as I'm concerned. I just want to be to the middle of the "normal" range for my weight. The lowest is 105 which would make me a skeleton, so 115 seems just about right. My pear shape makes certain things like my butt and hips seem totally exaggerated since my waist and boobs are small, so I'm not expecting to look like a stick model after I reach my goal. I'll always have curves no matter what I way and I've learned that I just have to embrace them rather than hate them. Think Kim Kardarsian or Jennifer Lopez- I'll be happy with that!

I have a Weight Watchers scale that gives you readouts of body fat, water percentage and BMI, each color coded with red or green signifying good or bad and I was elated this morning when the BMI reading was in the Green Zone at 24.9. Just barely in the "normal" zone. I'm so happy to be out of the "obese" category.

I signed up to do a 5k June 6th to raise money for Susan G. Komen. I'm really excited but nervous. I've never done anything like that before, so it will be a good challenge. Running is really addictive- it's weird how I actually look forward to it. It helps me to clear my head after working so it's a nice way to wind down. I'm going to need to test myself soon to see if I can do a mile non-stop. I'm at a 15-minute mile now, but that includes walking. I think that I'll try it in the next few weeks and see how I do. Ideally, I'd like to run the entire 5k, so that's my goal. I might just change my mind and track my time during the race.

Anyhow, I must get to work now- so much to do! Next reward up is new shoes! I haven't bought new heels in over two years so I am looooong over due.

Until next week- hopefully into the 120's. You can bet your butt I'll be posting a picture of the scale readout.

Dream Jeans: Phase One

Day 65, February 26, 2010
Weight: 134.7
Loss from Last week: 3.1lbs
Total Weight Lost: 16lbs

I'm off schedule from my usual posting because of the big move so this number is actually more like a two week loss, but I'm really excited about this weeks numbers. Right on track with the nerd spreadsheet and more importantly, I'm wearing the first pair of jeans from my sequence of dream jeans today! When I tried them on last night I thought for sure the zipper was going to be busting at the seams like in weeks past, but surprisingly enough, they slipped right on! Actually, I can pull them on without having to unbutton or unzip them, so that's some major progress!

Working out this past week or so has been a total crapshoot because we were moving, but I think that moving in itself made up for it. I've been superb with eating- lots of Subway because of the move, so I've been doing really well with the calorie intake.

It makes me sooooo excited that the 120's are only about 6 pounds away! It's funny how it takes so much effort to get started losing weight and always seems like such a challenge. But after you get into the groove, it becomes so simple. One day at a time and as long as I keep on the same track, I'll be down to my goal in no time.

Which leads in to my next point of excitement- once I'm at a healthy weight Koa and I can really start trying to get pregnant again. We're certainly not preventing right now, but kind of using the family planning method. So the next couple of months will be pretty exciting. We are not going to be fanatical by any means because we want it to happen in the Lord's time, but the prospect is totally thrilling. Being healthier will be nice too. I was a little upset last time that I wasn't at a better weight and in better shape, so again, the prospect is exciting. Plus I assume the whole pregnancy process will be easier if I'm in good shape.

Well, until next week!

Updated Weight!

So I just stepped on the scale this morning, and thought I'd post an update...I know it's minor, but I'd rather have this number "on the books". Funny how .5lbs can make you feel better! Now watch, I'll get on the scale in a few days on the number will be higher! Sigh.

Anyhow...talk about a good way to get the morning started! Coffee in hand, a beautiful sunny day and in just a few hours, we'll have the keys to the new casa!

Day 51, February 12, 2010

Weight: 137.8
Loss from Last week: .9lbs
Total Weight Lost: 12.9lbs

Thank goodness for digital scales...

Day 50, February 19, 2010
Weight: 138.3
Loss from Last week: .4lbs
Total Weight Lost: 12.4lbs

Meeh. Honestly, I was afraid to get on the scale this morning because I haven't done the greatest this week. Sigh- at least there was a small loss. Better than gaining, I guess. Well, I know why I didn't lose that much for sure. I only worked out I think 3 days this week rather than seven, and over the weekend I didn't track what I was eating at all. I kept my diet in mind, but that didn't stop me from eating chips, Wendy's and some other goodies. I am slightly encouraged when I look at the overall loss numbers (after removing the highest and the lowest numbers) to find that I'm averaging about 1.5lbs per week. Not the 2 lbs that I've been striving for, but a 1.5 average is actually pretty good.

Koa and I get the keys tomorrow to the house we're going to rent, so during the next week or so it's going to be difficult to fit in exercising because of moving. We'll be using the guest room as my workout area, which will be great because I'll have room to do exercise dvd's because in our current space it's too cramped and I hate doing them when Koa's in the room. We're moving the treadmill on Sunday along with the other big stuff, so if I'm not totally exhausted from the marathon moving session we're planning on doing I should be able to fit some exercise in. I'll also be doing all of the cleaning at our apartment, including renting a carpet shampooer so that will be some good exercise. Cleaning always makes me sweat...especially all the the particularly fun tasks like cleaning bathrooms.

So fingers crossed that this next week will be better! Something I need to work on for sure is sticking to my routine that I do during the week on the weekend. It's so much easier to eat right while I'm at work because I only can eat what I bring. There are definitely temptations, but it's a lot easier than when I have an entire selection of free goodies in the pantry like at home.

I can almost see the goal in mind...I'm shooting for between 115 and 125, so I still have about 15-20 lbs to go, but that feels a whole lot better than saying I have 35-40lbs to go. Slow and steady wins the race! May 1st is just a little more than 2 months away!

Welcome to the 130's!

Day 43, February 12, 2010
Weight: 138.7
Loss from Last week: 1.6lbs
Total Weight Lost: 12lbs

YAY! I've finally broken into the 130's! Yes, I may be at the high range of the 130's, but it's been awhile since I've seen those numbers...I think almost a year! I got my hair done as my "reward" and I absolutely love it. It's quite a bit shorter and darker but still spunky. My next reward up is for 135 and I think that I'll get a manicure since it's something small and cheap, but such a treat! Two things that have helped fuel this process- the mini reward system and keeping track of my weight by week on a spreadsheet. The spreadsheet I made also has projected weights based on my weight loss average, so I almost have a mini goal for each week. It's cool because I can see the approximate time left until I reach my goal. If I can keep up this pace then I should be where I want to be around the middle of April/beginning of May. And, of course, having my clothes start to fit better is also a bonus.

Anyhow, I was very good this week except for Superbowl Sunday, which is why I think I didn't lose the full 2 pound goal. I think I ate my weight in Velveeta cheese dip. That stuff is the devil, seriously. I worked out everyday except for Sunday and Thursday and have been gradually upping the intensity/length of my treadmill interval workout. Starting Monday, I'll switch it up again by increasing the length of the running intervals and shortening the walking intervals. The goal after 8 weeks of increasing the intensity is to run for 30 minutes non-stop. I'll start week 3 on Monday.

This week I've been doing the following switching between intensities for a total of 31 minutes:
5 minute warm up at 3.0 mph
1.5 minutes at 4.5mph
2 minutes at 3.5mph
5 minute cool down at 3.0mph

Until next week...we need to start moving over the next few weeks, so hopefully I'll have time to exercise in addition to moving. Ugg.

First Ten Pounds...Check!

Day 36, February 5, 2010
Weight: 140.3
Loss from Last week: 1.9lbs
Total Weight Lost: 10.4

Woot! Back on track. This week, I stepped up the exercise a little by doing the interval training between jogging and walking that I found in a book that Koa gave me, "How to do Anything", specifically, "Training to run long distance". It's an 8-week schedule that slowly increases the intensity each week until you can jog for 30 minutes straight. Not a bad goal at all, and it's nothing too crazy. I definitely am sweating more than the walking program I was doing, but I'm not killing myself to the point that I'm sore the next day.

The intervals this week were:
5 Minute warm-up at 3.0mph
1.5 Minutes at 3.5mph
1 Minute at 4.5mph
Repeat 8x, followed by a 5 Minute cool-down.

I exercised everyday this week expect for last night since we didn't get home until 9:30 because of home group, but I plan on doing a little extra tonight and Saturday to create a "reserve" in order to accommodate for this Sunday's festivities. On Monday, I'll start the next set, which should be slightly more difficult and longer in length.

By next week, I should be officially in the 130's. I cannot wait! I think that those will be the toughest 10lbs to loose since the first couple have been pretty easy, but we'll see! As soon as the scale reads, "13x", I'll take a picture, literally!

Until then...

Week 4 - Blah

Day 30, January 30th, 2010

Weight: 142.2

Loss from Last week: +0.6
Total Weight Lost: 8.5lbs

Arrgg....not sure what happened this week. Well, I lie. I did pretty well on calories, but not so good on exercise. I didn't do anything Wed-today, so that's probably why. I started feeling like I was getting a cold on Tuesday, so by Wednesday I had no energy. Sigh. When I weighed on Tuesday it read 140.8, so I'm not sure what happened. There is a possibility that my period is coming soon, so that might be to blame too. Anyhow, hopefully this little cold thing goes away over the weekend and I can be back on track on Monday.

I think that I am going to step it up on the exercise and start the interval running workout that I found. I think that would help the numbers too- maybe I'm on a mini-plateau? I can definitely run for several minutes without a problem, so I'll see how it goes. I also think that even by breaking the rules slightly by eating different foods- tortilla chips and cheese for example (It was a small plate! 350 calories!!!) that it throws off the cycle because of the refined sugars and flours. I don't know!

Anyhow...must try harder this week. I can't believe it's been 30 days already! Even with the weird gain, 8.5lbs in a month is not too bad. At least I didn't gain 8.5lbs...Imagine if I were writing a depressing blog about how I'm out of control and hate myself, blah, blah, blah. Now, if I'd said 159.2, then I'd be pissed.

There's a good amount of perspective on things!

Week 3

Day 22, January 22nd, 2010
Weight: 141.6
Loss from Last week: 2.5lbs.
Total Weight Lost: 9.1lbs

Woo Hoo! Feeling good this week about the overall numbers! Seems too good to be true, although I can feel the same feeling that I always do when I start this journey creeping up on me. It's really hard not to get frustrated when looking at the big picture. Yes, I'm right on track and right where I should be, but when I look at how far I have to go still it's hard. But, I must stand firm and just take it day by day and remember that it's all in preparation for the future and le bebe.

I don't think that you can tell that I've lost any weight because I think a lot of it has been water weight. I've read several articles that say that usually the first 5-8 lbs is water weight, but the number is certainly encouraging. I made a super nerdy spreadsheet yesterday that projects weight lost based on a lose of 2lbs per week so I know approximately when I'll hit different milestones. Again, difficult when you look at how long it will take, but in the big picture of life, what's a couple of months? Plus, my measly 30 lbs seems easy compared to someone that has say, 100 lbs to lose.

Pros for this week:
Total success on eating well! I'm averaging around 1350 calories per day, which is what is recommended on the Livestrong site for 2lbs per week weight loss. I've been drinking a ridiculous amount of water and I think that's really helping! As a treat when I hit 140, I'm going to have my friend Breanne cut and color my hair, so hopefully my next weekend, I'll have a mini-makeover.

Cons for this week:
I didn't exercise last night because we had a church meeting, so we didn't get home until 10, but I ate a diet meal for dinner so I think things evened out.

Goals for next week:
I haven't had a chance to go through the exercise DVDs that Kathi lent me, so I need to go through those this weekend and pick a couple for the weight training. Also, I'm wondering if I can do more on the treadmill than what I've been doing. The walking is pretty easy and I barely break a sweat, so I wonder if I should switch it up to a different workout I found. Maybe in two weeks I'll try out this version. It's the couch to 5k program that trains you to be able to run a 5k over a 3-month period. We shall see. Running is good, but hard on the body.

Until next week...

Random Thought...

While perusing the internet looking at my usual sites; news, email, exercise, clothing etc. I realized something that I think is a really good piece of motivation for weight loss. When you are thin, shopping for clothes is great- everything looks good! No thoughts in the back of your mind like, "Right. That would not make my rear look any smaller." or "If I do that, you'll see my flab belly." If you don't need to have those thoughts then all you have to really worry about is the color. Oh...And if it's sale or not.

Renewed Vigor...

Ugg. After an entire week of not working out and doing about 80% eating-wise of what I should be doing to lose this damn weight, I've got to get a grip and absolutely got to get on the stick this week!

My house guests are leaving today so by this evening, I'll have the house back to myself and won't feel so guilty doing my evening "routine". Although I know I could have been doing it the entire time they've been visiting, it's hard to feel like a good host if you are gone all day until 5:30, come home to workout for an hour, shower, cook dinner, and then cleanup from dinner- by then it's already 8pm!

Anyhow. Excuses, excuses. I am fueled today by the horrifying number on the scale. 146.9- How did I gain 2.8lbs. since Friday?! I'm assuming that I didn't drink enough water and ate too much garbage. I'm sure it's retained sodium or something, but I'll try to resist the urge to weigh again until this Friday. Last night I was bad and had popcorn, chips, a mini Butterfinger, some Resse's Peanut Butter Cups and MORE chocolate! Damn. Damn. Damn. Not even worth it, sadly.

I digress. Must get on the stick and back on the treadmill.

Big Plans...The Offical Week Two

Day 14, January 15th, 2010
Weight: 144.1
Loss from Last week: 1.5lbs.
Total Weight Lost: 6.6lbs
Dream Jeans: Right. Might need to hold off on the dream jeans for just a little while. The good news is that I feel like my work pants are a bit looser and don't put a strain on my stomach as much. My buttons aren't about to burst anymore...but still could use a lot more room. I'm excited to ditch my "semi-fat" pants.

I've maintained a pretty good eating schedule this week, which has been difficult because we've had house guests all week. I've been eating pretty much the same things over and over again while I'm at work and since we've had plans each night of the week I've been eating a Lean Cuisine meal at dinner for convenience. Not the greatest flavor and kind of unappetizing, but not too bad. Wednesday was a true test of my will power because we went to a FABULOUS dinner show that was filled with drinks and heavy dishes. I only ate half of each course but as usual, I went overboard on the vino! :) My weakness!

The daily routine has been as follows:
Breakfast:
Coffee with Fat Free Half and Half
1/2 Whole Wheat English Muffin
1 Tbs. Sugar free Blackberry Jam
1/2 cup cottage cheese


Mid-morning Snack:
Baby Carrots


Lunch:HUGE salad with diced deli ham with Caesar Vinaigrette and Bacos
Fuji Apple


Afternoon Snack:
Low-fat Yogurt
Handful of Almonds

Dinner:
Some days have been a Lean Cuisine meal and others I just try to eat low-fat and keep it under 500 calories.

Pros for this week:
My eating habits have been pretty good and feel like the eating routine is helping. Breakfast is definitely key as is the afternoon snack so I'm not famished by the time I get home. I have been really good about drinking a lot of water, which I also thinks helps. Beauty Note: Have been using the Clinque 3-step system all this week and my skin definitely looks better! Got my eyebrows done yesterday as a small reward to myself. Only 4.1 lbs to go till I'll get my hair cut and colored. Though depending on cash flow, I may just get a box hair dye and have it trimmed :) I think when I reach 135 I'll get a pedicure then 130 I'll buy a new outfit or two.


Cons for this week:
Ugg. Not a lick of exercise. Nada. Nothing. Not even once on the treadmill. Sigh. At least I didn't gain anything, and at least I've been 90% good with my calorie intake. My house guests leave on Monday, so on Tuesday it's ON! Kathi gave me an entire spindle of workout DVD's that I need to go through. A random mix of strength training, pilates, and cardio so I'll have a good selection. I just wish they weren't so cheesy! I also received my new workout shoes in the mail yesterday so that will make running a little easier.


Goals for next week:
EXERCISE. I sleep so much better when I exercise and even though it sounds crazy, I feel like each day I exercise my leg muscles are stronger. Plus, it definitely ups the speed of weight loss so it's a win-win. Tuesday my house will be back to normal so it's time to get serious. Again...watching the calories on drinking. It's crazy how easy it is to say, "Aww whatever..." after having a drink or two!

Until next week...

Big Plans...Week Two

I guess technically, it's the end of week one, but here are the standings...

Day 7, January 8th, 2010
Weight: 145.6
Total Weight Lost: 5.1lbs
Dream Jeans: Hmmm. First pair of three? Not so much. I can button them, but I don't think that I'd wear them out in public for fear that the button may explode or I'd rip the butt out when I sat down. Not too much progress there, as expected.

I was surprised by the number on the scale, but I think that the reason that it's such a dramatic loss so quickly is that I weighed last week the day after new year's and I had eaten waaaaaay too many chips and drank too many Bud Lights the night before, so I think that my body way full of garbage. Plus, I've been drinking water like a fiend and eating a lot of fiber, so I think my body is just flushing itself out. We'll see how next week goes. I think my friend Flow is coming next week so that will probably skew the number a bit.

Pros for this week:
I did the treadmill workout everyday- pretty easy, but enought to work up a little sweat, but not too much that I'm not too sore the next day. Also did at least 25 situps and butt-raise things each day as well. As far as eating goes, I've done pretty well too. One night I ate too much, but I think the average caloric intake for the week is pretty good. I'm right around 1400 per day, which is what worked for me last time.

Cons for this week:
As mentioned above, went a little overboard on the weekend. I need to practice self control :)

Goals for next week:
Do some strength training. My friend Kathi is going to give me an old weight set with a DVD, so I'd like to add that in at least twice a week.

Until next week...

Starting Fresh...

Something refreshing about starting off a new year...

I realize that I haven't blogged in forever, but after being glued to the computer all morning while Koa has been sleeping off last nights festivities, I don't feel too much like writing anything lengthy.

Anyhow, for what feels like the thousandth time in my life, my resolution this year is to lose some weight. 30 lbs to be exact...well, 35lbs would be ideal, but let's not get crazy here. Blech, the truth hurts sometimes...enough said, I need to get serious. I know exactly what to do after losing 30 lbs two years ago (f*ck it was that long ago?!) so all I need to do is get going.

Here's the plan: 1400 calorie diet and treadmill walking plan, both from Prevention Magazine. No need to go into details, I get it. Technically, I'm on day three, but after last night I feel like I should just call today day one.

So. Me and my big plans. I like to think if I write about it, maybe it will increase my accountability...

Day 1, January 1st, 2010
Weight: 150.7 Just typing that pisses me off.
Dream Jeans*: Ha. Not even close.

*The dream jeans are the prefect pair of Guess jeans that I bought while at my skinnest, and I only needed to lose about 5 lbs to make them fit perfectly. Now, I can barely get them up my legs. Pissed.

Until the next weight in...